Monday, March 10, 2008

Best baseball names

Spring training is well underway, and I suppose I could analyze players and teams, or tell you how much I love the smell of grass (I don't--I don't even really love watching games--I mean, they're great when they come in at 2 hours or under, but not more--mostly I just like reading about them, which probably makes me something approaching a baseball heretic). Instead, I think it's time we establish that some baseball players have had some funky names. All these players have officially played in the MLB, according to the inimitable

Hank Arft
Shooty Babitt
Phil Barzilla
Chief Bender
Geronimo Berroa
Rivington Bisland
Hi Bithorn
Sheriff Blake
Footsie Blair
Lu Blue
Oil Can Boyd
Buttons Briggs
Oyster Burns
Sugar Cain
Soup Campbell
Cliff Dapper
Peaches Davis
Red Dooin

For my money, Oil Can Boyd takes the prize. It's pure poetry: Oil Can Boyd. You just want to say it out loud. I also like the simplicity of Lu Blue, and the oddity of Oyster Burns. I'll try to get to the post-D players at some point.